Today is World Poetry Day so I thought I would write my first poem in many years to promote Mental Health awareness and to just give an insight into what it’s like for myself, to live with a mental health illness.
The alarm goes off; I hit snooze
until I can evade it no more –
I need to leave in 40 minutes.
This never-ending tiredness always ignored.
Wake up the children
and the other half too…
I always call him the better half –
the half that helps me to live, survive and laugh.
Every day is the same,
functioning but struggling to live;
Smiling with not much left to give…
I never asked to be like this.
Don’t ask me to explain,
when you don’t understand that
my tiredness goes beyond the physical,
My mind never stops talking, fighting.
Every day is hard but
Some days are harder…
I don’t mean to be unreliable, flaky,
The person nobody invites anymore.
You are fed up of my “not this time’s”,
“I’m not going to make it’s” and
can’t accept when I just say
“No, not today”.
Every day, I am trying
to just make it through,
to be a better friend, partner,
and mother too.
You can’t feel the weight of my mind,
the tension in my shoulders and
the pain inside.
You don’t understand
the cost of my smile; how many tears I hide;
how many times I’ve lied…
Just to protect you from my life.
Thank me later or
just hug me instead;
It doesn’t really matter because
you can’t fix my head.
The alarm goes off…
I hit snooze.